is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
