she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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