Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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