At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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