I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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