direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize