in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
