You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize