my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
