That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
