drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
