i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
