I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
