Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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