but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize