I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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