feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
