Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
