well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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