That's intense
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
