i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
