I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The adults are the big ones right?
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