Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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