i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish you could order shots online.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
