her vagine was all disorganized.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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