even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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