I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize