I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
