I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
