im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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