Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
