WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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