i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
