Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize