One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
