What did we do last night that was yellow?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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