i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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