Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
