I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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