You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
