how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
