It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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