I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
