they need to just BURY HIM!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
