So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
