You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
