You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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