Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
