dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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