I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
