john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
