I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I faked an abortion last night.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I need moral support for this bender
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
