Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
