got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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