btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
