She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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