i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i think im in europe. pls send help
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
