But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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